Fills and Refills…

Even a child knows this.  When we pour something out, the cup gets empty.

When we overextend ourselves and keep doing so, we feel empty. When we give when we no longer have the energy to, we feel empty. When we pour out of obligation, pressure, exhaustion, that cup empties out. Quickly. We all know this. We’ve all felt this.

For even a child knows this. The cup needs to be filled before it is ready to pour again.

I seem to have noticed this more in the past few years as I’ve simply operated on less. So what happens when you try to pour the same as before but with a cup only half full, or empty even? Unhappiness, dissatisfaction, puzzlement and sheer incomprehension that stems out of not comprehending the emptiness of the cup.  And despite knowing this and trying to adjust to it, it still leaves me restless. I have tried to change. I have chosen playing a board game over clearing the clutter. I have left projects unfinished on the dining table and returned after a week, or two, or three, or… yeah yeah… I know what you’re thinking… all excuses for a cluttered home. Sigh… But the restlessness is still there. There is so much that I seem to want to do – and yet the cup feels rather empty.

Perhaps it all depends on what we’re pouring towards. If it is meaningful to us, the emptying is worthwhile and even gratifying. For the meaning it gives us, will help refill the cup quickly. But pouring out towards something we don’t quite believe it, something we feel obliged to do will lead to an empty cup, or perhaps a leaky one even – one that keeps getting drained and can’t be filled. An awful job, a relationship or a friendship that is draining, a duty that seems root canalish. Yes, we’ve all been there.

So what do we do then? Never pour ourselves out? Never allow the cup to be emptied out?

Oh what a dull life that would be. An insulated, measured life without passion and enthusiasm. Perhaps being mindful of what we are pouring ourselves out to will help. Or pouring towards things that matter will help. Or pouring and remembering to fill ourselves up again with the things that matter will help. Or pouring without any expectation that someone else will do the same will help. And filling and refilling and re-refilling with meaning and joy and fun and doing what we love to do may help.

And for me remembering all this will help.