Letting go…of expecting others to share your enthusiasm

Revisiting the place where you grew up is always fun. With great zeal, you want to relive experiences. You visit your favorite places, meet your favorite people, eat your favorite foods… You also want to share these favorite things with your favorite person – your child.

Bursting with enthusiasm, I tried to share these experiences with a jetlagged eight-year-old. “Let me show you my college. We’re really close by,” I chirpily suggested. “I want to go home,” replied a jetlagged voice “My journalism department is even closer. And know what? It’s a historical building now. Want to go?” I persisted. “I’d rather go over to aji’s,” came a definite answer. “Oh sweetie, that is a fun place that I used to love. Let’s go in,” I tried another day. “Can we get ice-cream instead?” pat came the reply. 

Tad confused, tad miffed, I felt tad disappointed. I love stories. I think of life as a series of stories. I am somewhat of a storyteller. So why was this child – my own flesh and blood so reluctant to share my experiences?

I sighed. I made a face. Not quite different from the one my eight-year-old makes. And then I let go. 

It was silly of me to try to shove my favorite things down her little throat. She probably wants to make her own experiences and her own memories. Why would she want to piggy-back on mine? And what an astute eight year old to choose to make memories with her aji rather than visit her mom’s old college, I thought proudly. She loves listening to my stories, about places and people. But she probably wants to experience things from her perspective, from her past memories of India, from her point of view and priority. And I will try and respect that. 

When something gives us much joy or in this case nostalgia, it is only human to want to share with those we love. But perhaps we can share without any expectation of a reflecting enthusiasm. And perhaps, her memory may not be so much of the place, but of the enthusiasm her dad displayed when he took her to his college boat club or the enthusiasm with which her mom shows her things around town.

I imagine we will continue to share things with her and take her to some of our favorite places. But if she doesn’t quite share the enthusiasm, that will be quite okay by me.