What is indulgence anyways?

I wondered if the blog was self indulgent. I still haven’t made up my mind. But it got me wondering about indulgence, in general.

I wonder where the line starts and stops with doing something, enjoying something and then indulging. Hmmm… and why does that jar of Nutella in the pantry and its rapidly receding line, instantly flash before my eye?

But truly, where is that point when a relatively enjoyable activity we may be engaging in get frowned upon by us, in our own mind?

Now I am not referring to obvious ones like that jar of Nutella, or the turkey tomorrow, or that night of tequila shots… or any darker realms of addictions or substance abuse, or even over indulging our kids.  

I’m referring to indulgence from the standpoint of time and value of our actions or even the matter of doing so – for I doubt our ancestors did anything like that.

I’m simply wondering if our generation as a whole has become preoccupied with getting stuff done, with doing the right thing, with high expectations, with being oh-so-disciplined, with measuring the worth of things we do.

Has that turned us into some sort of moral and time police, evaluating, critically viewing the value of everything we do. What does time mean to our generation?

And has this made us more suspicious of indulgence in general? Have we added more stuff to the indulgence category than before? Things like simply staring out of the window and watching the rain fall, noticing red and yellow leaves swim down the sides of the road on a treacherous journey to an uncertain future.

True, you can’t do that all day. True, it wouldn’t be fun all day. But like me, have you ever chided yourself for “wasting your time” or “indulging” or tried to assign a value to an activity? And watching leaves swirl by in murky rainwater can only get a tsk…tsk... And what’s worse, is that I’m unlikely to stop doing so either… more tsk… tsk…sigh…

Perhaps, it’s time to question my attitude towards time and worth I allocate to my actions. I suppose it is easier if you have a job and have demarcated lines (of purpose or otherwise). It is easier if you’re healthy and can have demarcated lines of energy and its allocation to activities.

So does this mean we can give ourselves the permission to indulge if it seems healthy (who decides, right?) and not chide ourselves for straying from the path of the dutiful or responsible?

So does this mean we can stare at swirly leaves all day? Probably not. But a few moments here and there of nothingness and purposelessness and indulgence should be fine no matter what we do and how busy we are or aren’t.

As for that jar of Nutella, here I come... You and I are going to share a moment, for sure.