Grumpy me...

I am a fairly grumpy person. Not everybody thinks so, but I do. Or maybe I have turned grumpy. Or maybe I have been disappointed about a bunch of things. And maybe I just can’t handle disappointment as well anymore.

But despite the fact I’m somewhat grumpy or can get somewhat grumpy, I’m always trying to step out of it. For I know that is a deep dark hole. And who in their right sense would want to stay in a deep dark hole? So, determinedly, even if inelegantly, I try to plod out of the deep dark hole.

But what happens when you drag yourself willingly/unwillingly out of the dark spot? Is there only sunshine and rainbows and unicorns? Ha! You wish. For oftentimes, when you walk out of the dark ditch, you come face to face with someone else being in a dark ditch – grumbles, sulks, rudeness, confrontation, inconsideration, disappointment of sorts… and that puts you right back.

Except this time, the ditch is deeper and darker, the frustration is louder and angrier, for you are aware of the effort you put in, in the first place, to step out of exactly the same place.   

So how do you step out of the dark ditch without expectations or aspirations of how things should be? How do you step out of there simply because you want to step out and not go looking for continuous sunshine and unicorns? For you and I, both know they don’t exist. Right? Right? Oh well…

How do we step out, applaud ourselves for stepping out, and then stop right there? How do we not go searching for the unicorn? With my luck, that silly unicorn would probably butt me with its magical horn, anyways. Shooo! Get out of my imagination, you annoying unicorn… I’m trying to step out of the ditch, and not return there rapidly.

In all seriousness, is it worth the effort to step out of the ditch, if we are going to create frustration and disappointment of sorts by raising our expectations or go looking for mythical creatures?

What is that balance of being real – with our frustration and our dark ditches and our endeavors to draw ourselves out to live with acceptance and honesty, in touch with reality and all its flaws without letting it put us back in the ditch?