The circles of age...

Age is just a number? Age is just a mindset? Or is it? Why then, do we mostly find ourselves in the company of people our own age?  When we think of friends, we mostly think of people who belong to our generation – sure, a few years here and there, a decade here or there, doesn’t seem to matter, especially as we get older. But we seem to stick to our generation – whatever that is – or whoever we imagine belongs in there.

As parents, this ‘generation’ is sometimes our kid’s friends’ parents. So is generation defined by common areas of interest, or lifestyles, or general situation in life? Does that keep us somewhat confined? Is it just more comfortable? More likely to happen? Does it simply make more sense?  

What happens when our paths collide with persons from other generations, at different points in their life? How is it that we rarely make an effort to hang out with them (unless they’re family)?

Take for instance, my constantly colliding path with seniors in the realm of exercise. If on the rare chance that I take an exercise class, I stand tentatively at the door, check for seniors, and if I see some, I walk in. Hmm… I know, I know… sounds pathetic, huh? Maybe. But it has worked pretty well for me.

I used to go to a tai chi class that was predominantly populated by 60, 70, and 80 year olds, with just a scattering of younger folks. I loved that class. I loved the friendships I was making with these amazing seniors. I wondered if I would have their joie de vivre when I was older.

They were always friendly, welcoming and encouraging, even as I threatened to shatter the overall zen of their class with my general confusion, taking off in wrong directions, almost crashing into the frail 70 something next to me…

The class moved in unison to soothing music with synchronization and peaceful smiles. Well, at least most of the class… Some new ones (at times just one - moi) promised to derail the class. But they showed delight each time I returned, promised I would eventually get it, and even invited me to their holiday potluck.

Then, there are times, when I force myself into the pool for aqua jogging. I make sure to choose a time when there is a batch of seniors doing their aqua aerobics. For if the water is not warm enough, they make plenty of noise about it. Not to reveal the devious workings of my mind… but that is my assured way of wading in a warm pool in winter.

Besides it is fun. Their instructor belts out rock and roll numbers, and Elvis croons to the crowd in the pool – some with perfectly powdered noses and make-up and even pearls! It makes me smile even when I am especially grumbly about the aqua jogging. 

They smile and wave at me and many invite me to join their class. I tell them that I can’t do what they do – an hour in the pool. I’m in the pool barely fifteen minutes. Someday soon, they assure me, and consider me part of their team already.

So now you know I’m quite popular in the eighty-year-old circles. So, just to disprove that I’m actually an eighty-year-old in a forty-year-old’s skin, let me tell you about the other day.

I recently got an electric car. There are currently very few of the kind on the street, and the sweet little thing sometimes gets attention. The other day as I parked downtown, a very cool 20-something-skateboarding-dude struck a conversation with me. He wanted to know all about the car. I smiled in my mind, thinking how unlikely it would be for him, to strike a conversation with me, otherwise.

But his energy and enthusiasm was infectious. He seemed to know more about my car than I did. “I mostly skateboard or bike, but I would drive that car. I’ve been thinking of buying it,” he told me approvingly. Just for a moment, I felt just as cool and hip and young as my new friend.

So apparently, we enjoy interacting with generations other than our own. Then why don’t we do more of it? Interestingly enough, when I hang out with my tai chi friends, I feel quite youthful. When I chat with cute strangers on the street (okay, I’m really not a creepy person… just trying my hand at humor), I take in their youthful energy. As I believe would be the case with most people.

There seems to be some richness to these interactions. I suppose there is much to be learned from those at different stages of their life. Much to discover about ourselves. But I suppose it would take some amount of letting go - to allow ourselves to do so, to not see ourselves as different from them, to see them as a continuation of ourselves in either direction.

What do you think?