Weak spots: Do they make us weaker? Stronger? Both?

Each of us has a weak spot. Very often, this weak spot is a person. Someone we love, this weak spot walks about blithely unaware of the effect they have on us. 

Despite my limited wisdom and experience, and lack of any psychology degree, I will go ahead and make an uneducated inference. For most mothers, the weak spot is their child/children (it may be all of them, or one in particular); for the husband, it is the wife. You see the loop here? I am not suggesting that dads don’t care about their kids, I am speculating weak spots that sometimes leave us vulnerable. Besides, I imagine most of us can have several such weak spots to varying degrees and relationships.

These weak spots are sometimes our unraveling. They leave us susceptible to vulnerability and emotion. They prevent us from thinking clearly – the heart takes over the head; emotions take over rationality. Yes. These weak spots are often our unraveling.  

Let me narrate a recent story. We went to Mexico on spring break with a few families. As luck would have it, I got sick on the flight there. Not wanting to be hospitalized in Mexcio, many hours of pain later, I decided to fly back. Alone. My husband decided we should fly back. All three of us.

I would not hear of it. All I could see was a nine-year-old’s disappointment at having to cut short “the best vacation ever”. All I could see was a nine-year-old’s crestfallen face when her friend’s returned later and recounted adventures. All I could imagine were hurt looks, reproachful glances, even a relationship bruised forever.

I was devastated. Not by the pain or discomfort, or the cutting short a vacation… no, the pain didn’t come close to the guilt I felt. 

I firmly told my husband I was going to travel back. Alone. Now, 38 hours of pain will turn anyone into a growling lion. And my husband knew better than to argue with a growling lioness. *grin*

This story fortunately comes with a happy ending. All set to head to the airport in the morning, I suddenly started to feel better at 3 a.m. Quite cheerfully, I woke up my husband and told him to turn off the alarm since I was not going to leave in the morning.

But the episode got me thinking. Of how fragile we are. How fragile we make ourselves in situations. And the reasons/ the persons for whom we do so.

I wrote this yesterday. I didn’t post it. Well, simply because I haven’t posted in ages, but also because it felt as if something was missing to the overall thought. Or perhaps, the whole idea of a loved one causing unraveling bothered me.

Then I realized that if these weak spots are our vulnerability, they are also our strength. Most of us can recount acts of pluck, courage, tenacity, done in a moment for our weak spots. Actions we would otherwise have never done or even considered ourselves capable of.  My flying back alone was an easy one in the overall scope of things and overall scope of experiences.

For after all, even if these weak spots can sometimes leave us feeling helpless, they come from a place of immense tenderness and love. How can we always remember that?

For wouldn't that result in more gentleness rather than unraveling? And that seems appropriate, given the tender space they stem from.