Oh…at least give those veggies a try…

Some months ago, I went to a day-long meditation session. Now I totally believe in meditation, but I took to it only after I got sick. That said, I meditate only when I don’t feel good, feel rattled or am in pain. A boom box sits next to my bed and I often turn on a meditation CD in the middle of the night or early morning when I have cramps or can’t sleep. Yes, I truly believe in meditation, but will resort to it only in dire straits or discomfort.

A lovely (and young) friend drove me there – ahem... in a drive-your-old-aunt-kinda-way (??). Both of us were struck by the fact that there were some teenagers at the session. I was simply awe-stuck at how Zen and wise and wonderful these kids must be to seek meditation at such a young age. I was amazed that they saw the value in being centered and grounded at an early age. I was impressed that they were seeking out this centeredness and starting their lives with such a tool in their toolbox. Simply wonderful, I thought.

Simply wonderful, I thought yesterday, as I read an email announcing a two-day meditation camp for kids. All the good feelings I had thinking of the youngsters at our session rushed back and I decided to send my daughter to the camp. But instantly, I had that sinking feeling. That sinking feeling I get when my ideas meet resistance. The resistance I often get. (sigh… with due credit to my poor eight-year-old, my ideas are sometimes crazy, I suppose).

Maybe I could find a buddy – she would do it if she had a friend with her. But I wonder how many parents send their nine-year-olds to meditation camp. It’s in September – it would be like a getaway after school starts, I thought hopefully. And I know she will have fun once she gets there – for they make it fun for kids with play and art . Yes. I know she’ll have fun – but only if she agrees to try it.

Sigh…it felt all too familiar. We recently spent a couple of hours convincing her that she was going to love ziplining in the temperate forest. She did (whew…). But we influenced her decision… Ahem…Did I mention it would not have been possible for us to do it either if she hadn’t agreed to it? I know, I know… we’re terrible parents.

The funny thing is that she now knows when she is being influenced/convinced and even senses it coming. Some weeks ago, we were at a beautiful symphony at the Butchard Garden in Victoria, BC.  They played waltz and other very danceable scores and invited the audience to dance in the park. My eyes shone and I looked at my girl. She knew exactly what I was thinking and her face clouded, her brow creased; she  shook her head, wagged her finger at me and said “No mom, we’re not doing that”. “Oh come on,” I begged her. “When do you ever get to dance to a full symphony in a garden and setting so beautiful!!” She huddled in her chair, crossed her hands, and threatened to leave. So I let her be, and even ignored the grumpy glares, and disapproving stares as my husband and I got up to dance. I simply wanted her to experience the beauty of the moment - the moment I was experiencing. The moment I am unlikely to ever forget. The symphony was so beautiful and the gardens were so fragrant and beautiful – it was like a dream. I didn’t even notice the people, that she was conscious of (?) and really wished I could share the moment with her.  

Yes. There are things we want our kids to experience. “Just try it once,” we’ve all said to our kids (whether or not we’re pointing at the unsavory-looking vegetable). We don’t want our kids to miss out on things. We want things to be better for them. To be easier for them. We want them to make the right choices. We want them to be better than us.

But can we really influence them? Or do they need to arrive at it at their own time? On their own terms? At their own pace? Do we simply just wait and watch (and squirm uncomfortably while they get there?)

That said, I am still likely to get a plan together to convince my girl to try the meditation camp. Sigh…Is there no hope for me?