A back door entry to the blog

When I wrote about my poor pea plants, a friend commented on facebook that she was “awed” by the way I turn “bland details of life into beautiful prose”. It was a beautiful compliment and once my head returned from out of the clouds, and my feet touched terra firma again, I laughed as I realized how random my topics have been - pea plants, my refrigerator, a morning walk in India, cupcakes, Justin Beiber (!!) and even my feet (!!) have made it to the blog. Really, was I completely out of my head?

Hmm… should I then be writing about more important things? But again, I am not an important person. All I have are my bland, nondescript things and mundane, everyday happenings. And if they trigger a few thoughts, which in turn I choose to ink, so be it.

But out of curiosity, I decided to scroll down the document which holds drafts of my writings. Not to flaunt my inelegant document management system, but if a piece gets completed, it moves to the blog. If it is too personal, it gets housed in a separate document. And random scribblings hang about in the draft document like loose pieces of meteoroids in space.

Scriblings that never reached completion because I got distracted, or the phone rang, or something yummy in the kitchen called me – yes, by my name… These forgotten fledgling thoughts should be interesting, I imagined. Who knows what I may find… and there may even be something important in there.

The first thing I found:
So is it a case of: Religion makes good people better and it makes bad people worse (source unknown/unremembered).

Aha. This bit got left out of the religion/faith post. Too judgemental? Case of copy/paste gone wrong?  Who know? Who’ll ever know? But an interesting quote nonetheless.

Here’s another:

Yes, I love being out in nature. And this past week I took in a lot of nature.
And perhaps, I can draw inspiration from nature – to always stay open, to never withdraw. Like the waterfall I stared at –   

How do we find what allows us to open up and remain open. To stand tall like the trees and mountains - strong, steady, solid, yet allowing themselves to be humble and vulnerable in the face of nature and all that it may bring. To roar down like the waterfalls - relentless, forceful, brave – with complete abandon, without a worry of ever running out. To gush like rivers through bumpy rocks, devouring the rocks (of obstacles) in it course. To be the endless path

Unfinished, but I get the gist. Although I wish I had completed it, I am glad to have at least that much to inspire me.  

And this one takes the cake, or rather the cookie:

The cookie and the empty bag

There is stood proud and clear - just the title. Hmm… I guess I do start with the title at times. And this one sounds totally yummy and holds the promise of deliciousness. I stared at it – straight, from the right, from the left, with squinted eyes… But no. No jolt of memory came rushing. No “aha” was ever heard. No fingers started beating down the keyboard. There was only one thing to be done. To go eat a cookie.

I squinted at it again (ahem… three cookies later. Sigh… the chocolate filling was so good. And I’m just being a good mother by finishing the cookies, so my daughter will eat less sugar. Yeah yeah…I know…)

Where the heck could I have been going with that title? I just had to know. For after all, I had typed it up, with my own two hands, and it did sound like something I would write.

So if it was so much a part of me, why wouldn’t it come back?  And then I decided to let go. The blog is full of thoughts that come tumbling out of my head – quite like the waterfall above. And wise words about each moment being exclusively unique must be true after all. You can never recreate something from the past and that annoying title was my proof. True I may complete some of the unfinished pieces. But they will take a course quite different from that of the moment in which I first wrote them.

Why then do we try to go back and complete or recreate, refeel, reenjoy, (you can now easily detect made-up words, I’m sure) feelings, events, emotions, thoughts from the past? Should we then simply take stuff from the past , acknowledge it and recreate something new, something in tune with the present moment and situation?

And in that spirit, I’m going back to the last cookie in the pantry. But I shall relish it in this moment - with the joy (and guilt) of eating the fourth cookie. For you and I, both know it can never taste as good as the first.

p.s. this post started when I realized the randomness of my topics and blog. Which would be why I wrote an even more random piece…sigh…