Letting go…of trying to fit it

Stories abound of how tall people often hunch over to “fit in” with the rest. Of how very intelligent people shy away from “showing off” their intelligence. Of how very beautiful people (women in particular) may at times choose frumpy clothing to avoid drawing too much attention.

Unfortunately, I have none of the above “problems”. I am neither too tall, too intelligent nor too beautiful. And despite being ‘oh so ordinary’, I feel at times I try to be a certain way to blend in with the crowd. I may dress a certain way, or speak or (more often in my case) not speak out views and opinions in conversations with certain groups of people.

So do we often not allow ourselves to be ourselves in an attempt to fit in? To avoid the discomfort of standing out. For me it is probably the ensuing attention that would entail which could make me uncomfortable. But I suspect I’m not alone here.

Most women (and perhaps guys) have probably selected or not selected something to wear based on the crowd to attend a certain event, for instance. “Oh it’s always a formal setting there”, “they’re always in casuals – I don’t want to stand out”, are lines I have often uttered. At times, I drag my hapless husband into the dilemma, “Am I overdressed?” “Are these earrings too much?” He normally stares back at me in mild confusion. He once asked me, “What do you want to hear? I can say just that.” (!!!) I glared at him and laughed simultaneously. Followed by a “If I knew what I wanted to hear, I wouldn’t ask you.” (ladies (and most guys), you know the tone of voice that went with that line, right?)

Hearing myself right there, I realized how ambivalent I was. Although the example here is one very trivial, it makes me wonder if it is an attempt to hide myself.  

So how do I learn to feel completely comfortable in my own skin? And what a wonderful thing that would be. How can I learn to be true to myself and choose to do things simply because they seem right to me? Without any worry of how it will be perceived or if I will stand out... And the energy spent it trying to fit in can be used for more worthy causes, I'm sure…