I have mixed feelings about the burgeoning of all these
“enrichment” classes. The kind you send your kids to so they will develop superhuman powers
in math and language – Kumon, Brainchild, Singapore math, Japanese abacus… Maybe
I live in the wrong suburb -- but I swear I seem to find a new one every day.
I think of these as ugly warts on childhood. I can
understand tutoring if a child is falling behind in school, but really don’t
see its need to make sure the kid stays at the top. And how many kids can there
really be at this “top”? And what is the “top” even in third grade?
A parent of a
third-grader in a neighboring public school griped that she felt compelled to
send her unwilling child to an enrichment center simply because everybody in
her class did so and as a result most of the class was ahead of their
curriculum.
I believe our kids should just come home and play. True my
child does a bunch of activities (even if it’s not math and language
enrichment). And I do go back and forth as to whether she needs to be that
busy.
But I was shocked to hear her announce, “Mom, I want to go
to Brainchild.” (Many of her friends do) I stared at her aghast. “You got to be
kidding. They give homework you know” (yes, yes… manipulative me). “Imagine… you
get back from school and I badger you to do the ‘brainchild homework’. You’ll
want to play and I’ll say, ‘homework first’ and we’ll have a fight.” Et voila –
mission successful. She stared back in horror and the topic has never come up
since.
Although, as soon as the words rolled out of my mouth, I
tasted regret, “what happens if I completely change my stance on this matter
and want her to go there???” Oh well… that will be a different blog post I
suppose.
Parenting comes with its share of insecurities I suppose. We
just don’t want to screw up and some time spent in an enrichment center seems a
safe bet I suppose. (now, if only I didn’t make it sound quite like jail…)
But the other day, I realized that I had no business to
judge. I was complaining to my husband of yet another enrichment center and how
much pressure we are putting on our kids. He didn’t quite nod in agreement as I
would have liked. “Everybody is just trying to enrich and supplement their kids
knowledge. We do it too.” “We do?” I asked throwing him my best ‘you’re-so-wrong’
look.
“You’ve been reading to her since she was born. I’m
surprised you didn’t have any books in the hospital,“ he went on. “But I love
books and she does too!” I protested. “In fact she reads more
than me; faster than me. And she won't even read aloud with me any more as I
slow her down,” I grimaced.
“Well, that’s because you have made her so by introducing
books, by reading to her – it the same thing” he calmly pointed out. Grrr… I
hated being shown I was wrong and I could have continued arguing as to how much
she enjoys it, how much fun it’s been… why, I could have even touched a raw
nerve or two by mentioning how he or nobody in their side of the family even reads. Sigh... maybe
the scowl I gave him had already said all that. But I knew he had a point. I
had chosen this “enrichment” somewhat unconsciously; some parents do so more
consciously.
So in the end, as parents, we’re all just the same - we’re
just trying to look out for our kids; trying to give them in their childhood
what we deem important – for some it may be math, for some it may be the arts,
for some it may be experiences… but in the end we’re all the same and there is
no room for judgment. 
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