Vanity

Admit it. The last time you passed a mirror, you quickly checked yourself out. You did, didn’t you? That’s exactly why mirrors were made. For vanity. Why else? And if you’re looking for any profound thoughts on the mirror being a metaphor for life’s reflection, look elsewhere. At other times, that may be in tune with the tone of this blog; but today we’ll wade through the shallow waters of vanity – and drift towards the shallowest end - of personal appearances. Yes, vain - just the way I am.

I must admit, even I am rather surprised as I type this. I’m the one who finger combs her hair, owns only a broken hairdryer (that is rarely used), has hardly any hair products, gave away all high heeled shoes and uncomfortable clothes some years ago, and tells the story of how I lost my make up when we moved four years ago and never bothered to restock (other than lipstick and eye liner – come on, even I don’t live entirely in the dark ages).

The other day, a friend asked me about Indian beauty salons in town where they thread eyebrows into perfect shape. She had heard it was an Indian thing to do and thought of asking me. I winced and recounted how a college friend and I had gone to one such place many years ago. As my friend got her eyebrows threaded, fat tears rolled down her cheeks. One look at her tear-stained, perfect-eyebrowed-face made my courage falter. My low pain threshold made me decide that my eyebrows were absolutely perfect just the way they were. (And I repeat this perfect lie to myself even today). My friend, however, was unfazed and said she had no problems enduring pain for vanity and told me of some of the other things she had tried. We laughed and I gave contact details of where she could get herself a set of perfect eyebrows.

When I read of silicone implants, and botox, and nose jobs, and tiny surgeries to get dimples (yes, yes… you read right), I thank my lucky stars for being quite comfortable with my ‘imperfections’ and not quite as vain. But a quick glance at my feet makes me realize how far from the truth I am. My nails are painted and stamped, I have silver toe rings and for the past week or so, I have been wearing silver anklets – and jingly ones, mind you. Nah…these feet do not belong to a not-so-vain person.

So vanity may not be a top priority, but it is there all right. Ask the countless mirrors around town that I’ve quickly peeked into; ask the countless pairs of shoes I’ve drooled over; ask the countless clothes that have lain rejected on the floor, for not ‘looking right’ on a certain day.

Blame it on the countless glossies, films and billboards. Yes, media conditioning, I am your victim.

I wonder what prompted me to write this. It may have something to do with a few women friends (and yes, only women seem to be brave enough to be open about it) admitting to being vain. They may have laughed it off, but they did make it sound like it was a fault.

So is it a fault? Or is it part of self image (for there is no turning back on media conditioning now).

I am not quite sure. But I do I believe vanity may have saved me recently. After my first surgery, I felt ugly and frumpy and could have remained in the dark crevices of body image issues. But instead, my vanity picked me up and showed me the way to my regular clothes, jewelry and make-up (okay okay, whatever little I still own). Why, I believe I may have even dressed better than usual.

I am not sure where the line ends with vanity and where it begins with self image. Maybe vanity is a spectrum and each one of us lies somewhere on that spectrum. Maybe it is useful for us to know what vanity means to us and our self image. For me, vanity is equated with fun. I think it’s perfectly fine to be vain as long as it is fun. And I do believe there is such a thing as ‘healthy vanity’. Oh come on, do let me coin a few terms for us vain people.

And it seems like those silly, jingly silver anklets are not going back into the dresser any time soon... sigh…

Really, did I just post a picture of my feet on the blog? Seems bit much...even for me...In the name of vanity...sigh...