A while back, I listened to a radio show and heard the interviewee share a beautiful thought. Unfortunately, details of
the show and person escape me, but the thought came back to me today, and I
wanted to write it down so I wouldn’t forget.
He was a successful Broadway composer and musician and spoke about fear and panic.
He talked about dealing with panic attacks and teaching himself to do things
despite the panic. And the empowerment in knowing that he was able to do the
things he did, despite the panic.
His solution was simple. He said that even if you hear your
heart pounding and you feel terrified before going on stage, you do go
on stage. For the show must go on. And life is no different. “I have a pounding
heart, but I can go on stage despite that pounding heart. And knowing that I
can go on stage despite the pounding heart is my strength” (totally paraphrased).
Just the words I needed to hear. For the past couple of
months, I have been dealing with health uncertainties and that has made my
world somewhat gray and fearful. That
has made me withdrawn, subdued and rather ‘meh’ and ‘blah’ (always
so eloquent, right?). And when you add anxiety and fear to a physically tired and
weak body, the combination is never a good one. I have tried to shake off the fear,
but it seems to have a tight grip.
I know it is not going to help for me to be scared. I know
it is not going to help for me to be withdrawn. I know I am impatient and want
to simply shake it off. I know I can’t do that either.
So that must mean that I need to go on stage with it. That I
continue to live my life with it, despite it. And knowing that I can live my
life with it and despite it shall give me strength. That shall be my courage. Or so I hope.
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