Supermoms... and letting go…

I am no suburban supermom. Yes. I am suburban; and I’m a stay at home. But I’m no supermom. And I made my peace with that some years when I would take my daughter for gymnastics where all supermoms met. Or so it seemed.

I truly admired them and I truly wanted to be just like them. But I knew that I didn’t have the energy or health to be like them.

“Oh you should try the other pool for swim lessons. The water is so much better” (Um…that pool is ten miles away). “We saw a lot of difference once we started Kumon. I recommend it to all parents”. (Um… but I don’t want to send her there). From early education, to social behavior, to sleep habits, to exercise needs, to teeth... no stone seemed to be left unturned. And it overwhelmed me.

Perhaps because this was years ago and I wasn’t quite familiar with the mom-exchange that happens (and that I participate in now). Or perhaps it made me feel like I wasn’t trying hard enough. I was no supermom. In fact I barely had the strength to do the stuff I was doing. And perhaps wanting to do more, but not having the energy to do so, made these conversations painful for me.  

And every week I would see this mom with five kids. Her twins were in my daughters class. She would park herself outside the class helping her eldest child with homework, handing out craft stuff (and involved stuff, not just simple coloring paper and crayons as I would have) to her younger one, whilst nursing the baby and of course handing out healthy snacks (not packaged somethings) as needed. I would gaze in admiration as I sat there doing nothing of much consequence, waiting for only one kid, getting a ‘packaged something’ out of my bag (tsk…tsk…). I realized I could not imagine being her. Sure I used to imagine having a bunch of kids years ago. But I don’t think I can (or ever did) imagine myself being so put together in a super-mom manner.  

Motherhood (parenthood) seems to come with expectations. Expectations that we as mothers set on ourselves. And I suspect many a mom has often felt like they don’t do enough for their kids when they listen to other parents talk. And I wish there was some magic wand to just make that feeling disappear.

For every mother does her very best and wishes only the very best for her child. And there can be no exception. Not even the mother who may be on drugs or alcohol. No matter the outcome, or the relationship (good or bad) between a mother (parent) and child, fact remains that she probably did what she knew best, what she thought best (whether or not the child or the world agrees).

For, in the end, we all know how much we love our kids and that we want only the best for them and that we’re doing the best we can for them.

So then is it possible for us to let go in just that and simply enjoy our time with them? Happy Mother’s Day!