Letting go of… battling my child’s supporters

When my eight-year old chooses to be obnoxious while in India, the treatment she receives is quite different from what she is accustomed too. “She’s just a child”, “she’s only eight”, “she’ll settle down”, grandparents and other ‘supporters’ will assure.

When she was about four, I once tried to give her a “time-out” in India. I left the room and noticed it was uncannily quiet – no protests, no whimpers, no whines even. So I peeked in to see the cook sitting with her playing a hand game. There were giggles and laughter instead of the intended introspection (if that is even possible at four). “She looked so sad sitting there by herself,” the lady said lovingly. Yes. I am often the only bully in the picture. But the ‘grounded’ child was having way more fun than I had intended.  

I sighed. I let it go. I felt outnumbered. I felt like the villain. I figured my child was shielded by several supporters who I would have to get past and any attempt at disciplining seemed arduous.

But today, I remembered a time when I had my share of ‘supporters’. I smiled. I felt good. I remembered my antics. I smiled again. Then with a shudder, I felt grateful my eight year old hadn’t thought of those (yet??). Sigh…it’s so hard to be on this side of the fence. Nobody had explained to me the hypocrisy involved in parenting .  

I sometimes wonder if our generation of parents takes parenting more seriously than we need too. Perhaps it is a good thing for our children to have these ‘supporters’. And even if I sound somewhat snarky when I refer to them, I am grateful for these interventions (well at least in the big picture; it is still tad infuriating when it happens). 

For in the big picture, these interventions from these supporters can amount to only one thing…love.