This groundlessness I talk about is not a good feeling. It leaves me feeling scattered. My inside person seems to crumble into odd shaped unrecognizable fragments. Like a jigsaw puzzle that can’t be put back together.
Unfortunately, it lurks around even today. The difference between then and now is that I am aware of it. I was aware of it then too - but with a sense of confusion. I am aware of it now with a desire to do something about it. Earlier, I simply gazed at the pieces in bewilderment. Today, I wish to put the jigsaw puzzle back together. Piece by piece. Slowly. Steadily. And hopefully…without losing hope.
That said, I don’t have any answers. Just more questions.
I understand finding a way to keep myself grounded is important. But what grounds us? Is it family? Is it community? Is it friendship? Is it culture? Is it art? Is it nature? Is it your city? Is it your country? Is it exercise? Is it a good book? Is it dance? Is it music? Is it creativity? Is it inspiration? What grounds you? What grounds me?
I imagine it varies by person. But if we can find a way to hold on to it…. and find our way to strength from it... If we can simply be aware of it…and find our way to it in groundless times… if we can remember it… and keep it always in our arsenal against groundlessness…
The jigsaw puzzle will begin to come together. Piece by
piece. Slowly. Steadily.
Having moved from place to place through the years since childhood, I have often felt that I never belonged anywhere. I could neither relate to the tastes of one culture nor the desires to act like another. Then one day, you learn to listen to your heart and soul and realize that although it may be weird or to the contrary...you do belong somewhere....Maybe not 100% of the time but 70% or even 60%. A place where you find yourself at home and at ease...where you hope to grow firmer roots than you ever have in the past. And for now, that feeling is good enough for me. I will take the 60% of belonging somewhere over nothing....I know it could all change in a moment. Something might happen tomorrow to make me realize that I never did belong, but as long as I believe in it, it is true.
ReplyDeleteSo on days you feel groundless, ask yourself what can you fall in love with over and over. Who means the world to you and for whom do you stand as a symbol of love and strength. Trust in yourself and your beliefs and remember, no one said that life has to have a constant sense of purpose. Once in a while, it's okay to take flight and not worry about not being grounded.
Your articulate and wise words are a wonderful gift. Thank you so much!
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