A while back I read something somewhere (so much for a
journalist providing good sources… sigh…) that came back to me today for some
reason. It was a discussion on domestic violence and they mentioned an interesting
aspect about gentleness, or even “sweetness”. For instance they spoke about a
father, who was in a bad place after the loss of his wife and faith, and
started beating his kids. They spoke of how his place of pain and anger was so disparate
from the gentleness his children represented, that he simply couldn’t tolerate
it and transferred his rage towards them in helplessness.
Dark as this discussion seems, I am not trying to get into
any discussion on domestic violence or soften my stance against it; nor am I am
equipped or understand enough to do so. I do however want to look at the idea
of ‘sweetness’ and ‘gentleness’ and question if we learn to hide it in a bid to
shield ourselves from the time we are little. For if the world sees it, does it
leave us feeling vulnerable or unsafe even? And in leaving ourselves gentle, do
we fear being taken advantage of, of not being treated with reciprocating
kindness? Is that why we learn to close up, to not be as ‘nice’ or ‘kind’ or
‘gentle’? Do
we learn from childhood to toughen up in the face of harshness or adversity? To
shield ourselves, protect and hide away the sweetness and gentleness. Are we
scared to live with it openly in fear of getting hurt?
Ironically enough, I do believe that it takes enormous amounts
of courage and bravery to allow ourselves to remain sweet and gentle. And yes.
It does exist. I have seen evidence of it – in people I have admired. Yes. I
have seen it together – and it is a powerful combination.
Do we then need to teach ourselves that it is safe for us to
be nice, or kind, or gentle, or sweet? Find pockets of courage within that will
allow us to be so? Agreed it may somewhat be an innate quality – but how much
do we hide it? shield it? protect it? protect against it?
Just like the tall, strong stem that holds a cluster of
fragile petals that form a flower, we need that stem of bravery and courage to
allow us to open up and to reveal our cluster of sweetness and gentleness and
kindness. And just as the flower relies on the stem and knows it is safe to
bloom; can we stay secure in our belief of our courage and know it is safe for
us to be sweet and gentle?
Can we be free to be sweet and gentle again?
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