Letting go…of allowing my mind to control my body

My mind and body are not in synch. My mind is swift and moves at the speed of light. In doing so it often leaves my poor body behind. I have often thought of my body as being just plain stodgy. Like a grumpy, recalcitrant child – unwilling, unbending, refusing to move forward, refusing to budge.

I notice it more so now. Post-surgery, it seems like my mind is trying to move ahead, but my body is still not ready.

I am convinced there is such a thing as pure “body memory”. I feel like my body remembers and is holding on to the trauma of everything that has happened to it in the past few months. My mind, on the other hand has spirited away. And that gives me a sense of disconnect between them. Maybe it has been there for a while. Or maybe my whole life even.

In the past few years, it seems like my body has occasionally asserted itself, gone on strike, demonstrated a quiet ‘satyagraha’ or non-cooperation.  At other times it has been tempestuous. And each time, my reaction to my body has been the same – one of disappointment, sadness, irritation and impatience.

But now, I feel as if I owe an apology to my body for the way I have treated it. No, I’m not talking about lifestyle – for I do at least some of the right things. I’m talking about the treatment meted out to my body by my mind.

I think my body has suffered enough. So I need to make sure that my mind doesn’t push it around, bully it, or pressure it into adventures it does not want to be part of.

I believe it is time for me to admit that the body has its own intelligence. No doubt, the body is more organic than the fleeting mind. And it is time to acknowledge that and find a way to slow down my mind to finally synch it to my body which may seem slower of the two.

I wonder if others go through life with this disconnect between mind and body. Have you ever noticed a separation between the pace of your mind and that of your body? I feel it on a daily basis. But instead of irritation, the attempt this time is to bridge it with compassion.