Letting go…of responding to other people’s judgment

We pulled out Rockband the other day. My daughter and her friend played drums. My husband took the guitar and I sang. I sang away happily and most likely off-key. And it was fun.
Till the kids decided my score was too high and the level was changed to ‘difficult’. I didn’t notice much difference, except that my singing was now being judged – and quite harshly in that.  The machine told me my singing was “Messy” and my singer feelings were hurt. “Okay”, it said and I tried harder. “Great”, it said and my heart sore. And then we went back to “Messy” again.

How dare this piece of machine call my singing “messy”? I sing in the shower every day for crying out loud. How dare it break my confidence and my belief to hold a tune?

What was worse was that I was responding to this computerized criticism. I realized how much more fun it had been before I began worrying about my performance. And before the Gods of Rockband began to judge me.

So was I actually worried about what this machine thought of me? Did I feet judged? Sigh…if machines have this kind of effect on me, there’s absolutely no hope for me. How have I even lasted this long in a human world, I wonder?

And it’s time to let go of that… And perhaps I can start with at least the non-human kind of criticism. Rockband, here I come…