I have a
bright spirited child, who bustles with energy. Unlike most eight-year old
girls, my child shows no interest in dressing up. She will wear her t-shirts
and shorts most places she goes – be it to the park or to a party. I often see
other girls dolled up in pretty attire and accessories and then I see mine
jumping about like a ruffian in her faded play clothes. It is a good day if her
hair is combed and tied back.
Until recently,
I used to try and fix this “problem”. Although it does not bother me as much, I
still try and coax her into wearing “something nice” each time we’re at a
social gathering.
She had a
birthday recently. I got her a couple of dresses from Nordstrom. Soft and comfy
– to please her, pretty enough – to please me. “I’m not wearing those for my
party”, pat came her response. “I’m wearing shorts and a t-shirt”. I looked at
her slightly appalled. “I am going to be swinging around on monkey bars, Mom. I
really don’t want anything fancy.” I looked at her disappointed and proud all
at once. Disappointed for the time and energy I had put into the shopping;
proud that she knew what was important to her.
Why then was
I trying to steer her away from that? Why does it matter if she wears the same
clothes everywhere we go? She doesn’t want the fuss related to clothes. Why then
should I complicate her life?
I choose to
let go of this. I choose to let go of trying to portray my child in a certain
way. To have her fit any image I may have in my head. If she so fiercely wants
to be herself, why should I change that? And I hope I will remember this when
we go beyond the topic of clothes into other realms where her choices may not
fit an image held in my head. Parenting is harder than they say, huh?
And hopefully,
I will remember this next time we are at a party, when she will have turned out in
all the splendor of her faded shorts and t-shirt, engaged of course, in some
rowdy activity. 
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